Monday, July 19, 2010

Our Final Exhibit for Craft Fail Week: The Sasquatch Toe Socks

Dear Shannon,

Sorry it's taken me 6 months to come clean.  I tried.  I really did. I know your hubby really wanted these toe socks.  Thanks for being so kind as to supply the yarn and the pattern, and for your confidence in me.

It's a very good pattern.  That's not the problem.

I'm not sure the lady at the yarn store gave you good advice on this yarn.  It's lovely yarn.  But it's DK weight (or so it says) tweed, with no stretch at all, like the Cascade Fixation recommended.  It's also very scratchy.  I pulled out a significant amount of "VM" while knitting.  "VM" is knitter code for "vegetable matter"which is code for "bits of grass and crap" that gets into wool while it's still on the sheep.  Or at least that's one of the things I picked up from listening to some people talking about spinning.

I also had a little problem with gauge.  I had to go down to size 1's to get stitch gauge (but never got row gauge).  Not sure this DK-esque yarn liked being on size 1's.  It was kind of like knitting a brillo pad.

But they still turned out too big.  I say "they" but I should say "it", because after I finished the first sock my hubby tried it on and we both laughed until we cried.  So I only got as far as to make a few toes of the second sock.  I just didn't have enough optimism for that.

And I had to break into the second ball of yarn already to finish the first sock, so I don't think there's enough yarn anyways.

I'm really sorry.

In the end, it's probably a good thing I completely crashed and burned on this project.  Otherwise, you would have ended up with scratchy sasquatch socks that you felt obligated to pay for and your hubby felt obligated to wear.  Then he'd get some kind of itchy mysterious rash between his toes and you'd have to take him to a specialist who would charge you some ridiculous amount to explain to you that his in-between toe skin is just sensitive to sheep crud and sticks.

Would you like for me to frog it for you, or would you like the pleasure yourself?

Thanks for having such an awesome sense of humor about the whole thing.



P.S.  I'll give you a discount on that apron because I feel really guilty about the whole thing.  ;)
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1 comment:

  1. Hello!

    I couldn't find an email address attached so I a hoping you will get this. :)

    you have my newest ePattern! I would love to send it your way!

    please email me! thanks!!!


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